SOMETIMES I CAN HEAR YOU SING

 

DEAR GRANDMA

it´s hard to believe that already four years have gone, since you left.

 i am up to spend some days on our hill. so many things happened last time. you know that i try to build a place to be in your ancient rooms. but it didn´t work so far and i was really about giving up. from the distance i can see clearer. distance in time and distance in space.

 

when i talk to my artist mates i tell them about LABOR 2, this is what i call our kitchen. but all the house and all the village! so much childhood lies there in, familiar, ancestral stuff. sometimes it´s to hard to deal with. yet i know myself on the way and patience is the word. maybe adelheid the lovely cat will take place again on windowsill, while i am writing my life/art pages.

 

it doesn´t matter if you agree with the things i do. i know it wasn´t your fault to be that kind of emotional strangeness. you loved me by your own fashion. and i did too. still feeling proud of never giving up on us. remembering all the times i carefully tried to take you in my arms. and remembering all the times, you let it happen.

 

one eve in september, guess exactly ten years ago, there was a music show on tv. we hummed some melodies thereby. that eve you told me bout your admiration, if a singers voice comes straight out of the throat. i know you always missed this in your life, and i still do too.

so this shall be our reminder. sometimes i can hear you sing, and i use to hum with you. so may it grow and may it deepen. may we let go off the tone, that gives birth to whatever wants to be (re)born. delighting you, grandma. here and there and everywhere.

 

love and thanks to my cousin and second cousin for that lovely burial balloon ceremony.

it means a lot on my way in art, to hold this image.